BOGON ROYALTY

Ok, so about this time last year an atrocity of Australian television debuted and dragged the concept of reality TV to (if possible) even greater lows. And now it's back.

Honestly, how in the wide world another series of Australian Princess was given the go ahead by some trumped up TV executive I will never know, but apparently they did and the production team has certainly not failed in pullin' another piece of shizzit out of their behinds.

Alright alright, I hear ya'll - "why in the world would you watch it if you're just gonna rip it to pieces afterwards?" I have a number of excuses:

1) My TV was already programmed on channel Ten - following another classic episode of The Simpsons at 7:00pm, and in anticipation of Medium at 8:30pm. It was just unfortunate that the airing of the premiere episode of Australian Princess should fall in the interim.
2) It was either that, or the 7:30 Report on ABC.

3) I will grudgungly admit that I find something...intriguing...about watching a group of Aussie gals trying in vain to walk like a royal and serve tea to foreign dignantries, without letting slip any explicits or getting their tongue rings stuck in a cucumber sandwich.

So there you go.

Anyway, they certainly have not failed in assembling an exemplery cast of Australian Women for this season: they've got the token country girl, a few blonde bimbos, the gothic chick, the arrogant loud mouth, a few from 'the wrong side of the tracks', Miss Zero Personality and all in all, waaaaay too much flaunting of pierced lips, tongues and eyebrows.

I could begin a rant about how insulting it is that this selection of girls is supposed to represent the larger population of Australian Women, but I think that goes without saying. Because it takes a truly special Aussie to cock her head to one side, twirl her bleached blonde hair around her finger and say "I'd never like, even heard of Tonga before, so it was like, totally awesome to learn about new cultures..."; or to assume that Jane Ferguson's sister 'Fergie' was "that chick from Black Eyed Peas", rather than the duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson. Even worse, to ask Ms. Ferguson if her sister was indeed, the lead singer of the popular musical group *headdesk*

You get my point.

Having said that, amongst the most memorable of moments for this weeks episode are: the Country Girl/Pig Farmer telling resident ettique expert Jane Broke-Smith that she could "see her titties"; Miss-Arrogant-Loud-Mouth arguing with Princess Diana's former Butler, Paul Burrell, about how badly she did in the weeks challenge (heellooo honey, he's the judge...if he says you did bad you did bad. Kthx.); hearing from Bimbo #1 that the Gothic chick can't curtsey because she "doesn't like going down" (I'm not sure whether to take this as meaning that Gothic Chick is adverse to oral sex, or whether she simply does not have the leg strength to curtsey in a proper fashion. I'll have to think on it.); watching them all trying to remember proper ettique for addressing a range of foreign dignantries (we certainly observed a colourful range of swearwords, many forgotten lines and a lot of giggling and apologies - and all after a whole nights studying too. Liek ZOMG this is soooo hard); and finally seeing Miss-Zero-Personality #2 being eliminated, mostly because she cried about messing up the challenge. Phew, it is a tough game, afterall.

Is it wrong that I am strangely addicted, and am waiting in anticipation for next weeks episode? Hmmm.